dee_burris: (Default)
[personal profile] dee_burris
I hope this post doesn't wind up sounding like a rant. I would only be adding to the negative energy I found this morning.
I found a genealogy blog solely devoted to making fun of people who have errors in their published family trees.

Who among us has not found a published family tree containing our own ancestors?

And maybe contacted the owner, providing correct information, and offering to untangle some limbs?

And maybe getting no reply at all, or perhaps one that hotly defends the errors?

And maybe we blog about it. That, I get.

What I do not get is the significant investment of time and energy expended in searching out family trees unrelated to my own, looking for obvious errors and broadcasting it in a blog solely devoted to sarcastic fingerpointing.

AND failing at the same time to provide the correct information.

Because we all know that some folks just seize on a string of search results and re-publish them, compounding the error.

So what's accomplished by that?
Of course, I have to consider where I found the link to the referenced blog.

At the Find-a-Grave forums. Where more often than not, all that's going on is negative.

I had gone there to see how far behind the cemetery fix-it thread was.

And ran across one of those discussion threads where someone with way too much time on their hands was asking...

Look at this photo and see if you think it's a post-mortem can't see a casket, but I'm just sure it's a post-mortem photo...

Because Find-a-Grave does not permit post-mortem photos on its grave records, and someone just might need to be cyber-whipped.

One commenter pointed out that the subject's eyes could have been closed when the photo was taken.

A couple of commenters tried valiantly to talk about the differences in burial and mourning rituals in other cultures, and in western US culture over history.

Then, words like creepy, jarring, physically repulsed, SCARY (caps in original), and disturbing started creeping into the comments.

And all I could think about was the wonderful work of the volunteer photographers at Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, who give modern day grieving parents a tastefully photographed portrait of their deceased child - the only one they will ever have.

I understand the rules at Find-a-Grave. But where is all the judgement coming from?

If you don't want to see a post-mortem photo, don't look.

But don't judge the family for having it.

Date: 2012-06-07 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I don't know why but I have tried to subscribe to your blog through my Google Reader and it never seems to go through. Any ideas? I have definitely missed reading your blog and your no nonsense, tell it like it is style.

Thanks for the help on my photo identification.


Date: 2012-06-08 03:13 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I subscribed through google reader. There are two ways (though maybe you've tried them both...). You can go to bookmarks and find the subscribe from there. Or you can go to google reader and copy and paste the url to Dee's blog. I hope you can get it one way or the other.

Date: 2012-06-08 02:01 am (UTC)
oakmouse: (Default)
From: [personal profile] oakmouse
If I may borrow a bit of internet slang, haters gonna hate.

That photography service, oh my gods. I wish they'd existed when we lost our son. We've got a Polaroid of him that one of the nurses took, but I wish I had something better.

Date: 2012-06-08 03:18 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I wasn't aware of post-mortem photographs until I started blogging. When I learned about them I looked at nearly every photograph of a person sitting or lying down wondering if it was a post-mortem photo. Perhaps the people on the forum at Find-A-Grave happen to be where I was a few years ago (except perhaps more verbal about it).

It's interesting how customs have changed over the decades. Lots of folks these days think that the way we do things now is the only way, the right way, or the best way, not considering the changes over time. We all have some learning to do but it's sad when people judge.

Thanks for sharing the link to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. It is a new organization to me -- and such a compassionate one.

Nancy from My Ancestors and Me

Date: 2012-06-08 05:55 pm (UTC)
rainbow: drawing of a pink furred cat person with purple eyes and heart shaped glasses. their name is catastrfy. (Default)
From: [personal profile] rainbow
what i think they think it does is show they're better than the people who made errors; they miss that isntead it shows that they're rude and have inferiority complices or wouldn't want to try to publicly put others down.

i had no idea find a grave prohibited memento mori photos... then again, i've never found my way to the forums, either.

i've read about families who, when a loved one was dying, had photos taken while they were still alive, but they may have been unresponsive, unconscious, etc.

unless there's a casket or other funerary items or it's noted on the photo, it's really hard to be sure someone is dead in an old photo vs dying, ime.

i'd not heard of nilmdts before and spent sometime reading their site; what a great service! thank you so much for linking to it!


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Dee Burris Blakley

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