(no subject)

Jul. 29th, 2016 08:11 am
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (Default)
[personal profile] all_strange_wonders
Tiny, convenient miracle of the morning:

Just got an appointment reminder from my GP, for next Friday afternoon. I don't need to schedule a special visit to be like "So... I'm tired a lot. Is this just an aging thing?"

I should probably call and see if I'm supposed to be getting blood work done, though.

The other slightly miraculous thing? I've already taken off next Friday (and Thursday, and the following Monday and Tuesday) to deal with moving, so I don't have to deal with any last minute schedule juggling because I forgot about the appointment as soon as I made it last year.


Other good things:
Tea with milk and honey. Toast with butter and strawberry jam. Happy cats.
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July 29th, 2016next

July 29th, 2016: Yesterday I saw a movie IN THE AFTERNOON because I was feeling decadent! Then I felt guilty about all the work I wasn't doing so I can't give it my full recommendation >:|

– Ryan

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Jul. 28th, 2016 10:11 pm
all_strange_wonders: (tea or brandy)
[personal profile] all_strange_wonders
I don't do frivolous sick days. Yesterday, I called in because I was just so incredibly tired.

I'm going through a bit of a tough time right now, really. My sleep schedule would really like to readjust to staying up late, I think, so I'm not sleeping well. And life is just kind of generally exhausting. I'm tired a lot. Usually it's more of a mental/emotional exhaustion (oh god, I am so tired--living with other people and not having much quiet time or private space is hard, trying to deal with my relationship and my depressed/pained/unhappy partner is *exhausting*), but the past little bit it has also been physical.

I should probably go to the doctor, but the prospect of finding the time for the appointment and actually driving out to Hillsborough for it is also exhausting. I'm pretty much just used right up, and there's nothing left for dealing with anything else.

Peter wants me to go see a therapist. Good idea. Peter wants me to go see one of the two therapists listed as kink-friendly in the area. Neither of them takes my insurance. Big upfront expense, extra stress of having to try and file that shit myself? Thanks, I'll just nope my own way out.
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July 22nd, 2016next

July 22nd, 2016: I'm at San Diego Comic Con today! If you wanna meet up and exchange ONLY THE HIGHEST OF FIVES, here's where and when we can make that happen!

Hey, my new (NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING, WHAT WHAT) book Romeo and/or Juliet is on super sale on Amazon! Less than $12! WHAT A STEAL, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY BUY IT RIGHT AWAY

– Ryan

(no subject)

Jul. 21st, 2016 08:22 am
all_strange_wonders: (aspirin or death)
[personal profile] all_strange_wonders
Once again in News Everybody Else Already Knew:
Holy shit, moving is *expensive*, y'all. I'm basically paying triple rent for August, because there's the rent for the old place, the deposit for the new place, and the rent for the new place.

My godawful landlord had damn well better return my deposit on the old place. We're going to leave this shitty house cleaner than we found it, probably. The fact that his deferred maintenance left the place in a state where shit kept breaking while we were here isn't our fault. (See: oh god we're all going to burn in an electrical fire, why is there a pond around the toilet, was that stain on the ceiling there before or is the roof leaking?). Doesn't help that dude lives in NY and is terrible about getting repair people in a timely manner. That toilet leak took like 3 weeks to fix, and then he tried to pin the damage on me for "not informing him sooner". I'm not sure how I was supposed to know that the leak would happen before it started, so... I maybe have given him some very polite and Southern shit for that.

Yeah. Expensive, but probably still worth it to be dealing with a real property management company with experience. Also probably worth it to be able to leave a shitty Yelp review if they suck at this as much as he does.
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July 20th, 2016next

July 20th, 2016: I'm off to San Diego Comic Con today! If you wanna meet up and exchange ONLY THE HIGHEST OF FIVES, here's where and when we can make that happen!

Hey, my new (NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING, WHAT WHAT) book Romeo and/or Juliet is on super sale on Amazon! Less than $12! WHAT A STEAL, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY BUY IT RIGHT AWAY

– Ryan

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July 18th, 2016next

July 18th, 2016: Hey, my new (NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING, WHAT WHAT) book Romeo and/or Juliet is on super sale on Amazon! Less than $12! WHAT A STEAL, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY BUY IT RIGHT AWAY

– Ryan

(no subject)

Jul. 17th, 2016 10:43 pm
all_strange_wonders: (tea or brandy)
[personal profile] all_strange_wonders
I fell apart a little today.

When Peter and I started dating back in 2012, I didn't realise just how stressful and exhausting it would be to be in a relationship with someone with chronic pain and increasingly severe depression. It made me understand my ex's decision to break up with me while I was going through a severe depressive episode a lot better. Goodness knows I've been tempted more than once to just throw up my hands and say "Enough! I can't do this anymore! I'm tired, I'm tapped out, and I'm just plain done."

But sometimes I do start crying and talking about how tired I am. Today was one of those days. It's been a stressful few weeks, what with dealing with the landlord (oh god just make it stop, I am so fucking done), finding a new place to live (there goes all my money!), and trying to do all the usual chores and priority juggling without much success.

(We have a new place to live. I got a promotion and a raise at work, so my finances won't be quite as tight as I thought. And of course recognition for my hard work is pretty nice, too. It's not all bad.)

And I miss my parents. Maybe it's all the stress. Maybe it's the fact that I've ended up spending more time with Peter's parents than my own recently. Maybe I'm just homesick for the simplicity of being someone's child, instead of my usual feeling these days of being the maid in a madhouse.

I usually try to keep shit together. Keep calm and carry on, etc. But today I just sort of lost it and started crying.

I hate that it gets to that point, but I really don't know what else to do.

Meandering along

Jul. 17th, 2016 01:09 am
all_strange_wonders: An illustration of Nita from the Young Wizards story "Uptown Local". (Default)
[personal profile] all_strange_wonders
Well, I definitely haven't managed three sentences every night. I tend to forget if Peter isn't here to remind me (and usually he checks to see if I've done it right as we're getting into bed, so sometimes even when he does remind me I opt for sleep over writing...).

I am making progress though, a few sentences at a time. I'm definitely not going to break any speed records, and I've written myself into a corner, but there are 1000+ more words to Happy New Year than there used to be. Not a single one of them has been written in a hail of inspiration--just 3 or 4 or 5 sentences at a time, with occasional inserted ##Hey, come back and explain this thing later, when you know what it is##.

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