March 2015

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Monday, April 27th, 2015 12:44 pm
So, Friday, after working six hours saying over and over, "last day - I can rest all day tomorrow" I learned that... whoops. They had to schedule everyone for 2 weekends for the next several months, and mine was coming up... tomorrow. I was supposed to be at home today.

Saturday was an 11 hour workday. Ye gods and little fishies.

Sunday was a nice, very light day, which is good - I was at the "I can react, but I have no act-ability". Go ahead - tell me there's a tough problem in SQL Server, I'll dig into it and figure out how to fix it. Tell me to "manage my cases" and I can't. I stare blankly. I know, technically, I should open case one and take action, then case 2, and so forth. But it doesn't happen.

This is what I think of when I say I'm mentally fatigued. I'm still a genius - but it's like my mental muscles are completely strained. They still work fine, if called upon, but they don't want to do any work.

("I'm still a genius" - no humility problems here, eh? Well - I am. I don't like to think of where I'd be without that as an advantage. My brother died early *in spite* of it because addiction issues derailed college for him.)

Anyway - a few days back, I found that there's a bunch of seasons of new Star Trek episodes, and they've got Professor X playing the captain, Jean-Luc Picard. And they've got some guy who I swear could be Wil Wheaton's kid brother playing a brainy kid who I bet a lot of people could find really annoying.

They've got the guy from Reading Rainbow, I think - he's got some kind of eyepiece that obscures his face a bit.

Best of all, they have this Klingon - you wouldn't believe it, they have the guy who did the voice for I Am Weasel!

So I've been watching this while my brain relaxes a bit.
Monday, April 27th, 2015 06:36 pm
Deeply morbid deeply morbid was the girl who typed the letters
Always out of office hours running with her social betters
But when daylight and the darkness of the office closed about her
Not for this ah not for this her office colleagues came to doubt her
It was that look within her eye
Why did it always seem to say goodbye?

Joan her name was and at lunchtime
Solitary solitary
She would go and watch the pictures
In the National Gallery
All alone all alone
This time with no friend beside her
She would go and watch the pictures
All alone.

Will she leave her office colleagues
Will she leave her evening pleasures
Toil within a friendly bureau
Running later in her leisure?
All alone all alone
Before the pictures she seems turned to stone.

Close upon the Turner pictures )
Monday, April 27th, 2015 03:52 am
This poem is spillover from the February 3, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] dialecticdreamer. It also fills the "ritual marks and body decorations" square in my 9-1-14 card for the [community profile] ladiesbingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by EdorFaus. It belongs to the Danso & Family thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

Warning: This poem mentions past child abuse and subsequent insecurities about growing up. Current environment is safe.

Read more... )
Monday, April 27th, 2015 01:15 am
This poem is spillover from the February 3, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] mdlbear. It also fills the "go bag with civvies missing when I got back to it" square in my Superhero Bingo card. This poem was sponsored by [personal profile] chanter_greenie. It belongs to the series Polychrome Heroics.

Read more... )
Sunday, April 26th, 2015 11:58 pm
This poem is spillover from the March 3, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from [personal profile] thnidu and [personal profile] chanter_greenie. It also fills the "humble pi(e)" square of my 3-2-15 card for the Pi(e) Bingo Fest. This poem has been sponsored by [personal profile] dialecticdreamer. It belongs to the series Polychrome Heroics.

Read more... )
Sunday, April 26th, 2015 09:10 pm
This poem was written outside the regular prompt calls, somewhat inspired by recent news about police brutality. It fills the "logic and numbers" square in my 12-17-14 card for the [community profile] genprompt_bingo fest, and the "sentient spider -- but it was just lonely" square in my Superhero Bingo card. It has been sponsored by [personal profile] technoshaman. This poem belongs to the Antimatter & Stalwart Stan thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

Read more... )
Sunday, April 26th, 2015 09:51 pm
Behind the cut is speculation for Avengers: Age of Ultron based on one high-level spoiler (not super surprising, but not inevitable either) and general knowledge about announced upcoming movies.

I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW IF I AM RIGHT. I AM JUST PUTTING THIS ON THE RECORD.

spoilers )

Speculate all you like with me, but if you actually know, please stay out of comments. Thanks.
Sunday, April 26th, 2015 08:58 pm
If you have PayPal, it's waiving its usual transaction fees for donations to a specific set of charities.

See also: 7 vetted charities doing relief work following the earthquake.
Sunday, April 26th, 2015 03:55 pm
Today is the last day of the half-price sale in Polychrome Heroics.  If you wanted to buy some poetry, now is the time.  Please remember to check the list before you buy -- I'm trying to keep up with logging things as sold, but they're not all posted yet. 
Sunday, April 26th, 2015 10:41 am
This morning as many other mornings. 4 or 5am. I am in so much pain I don't want to move. Then I'm in so much pain I have to move. (repeat several dozen times) Perhaps if I get my neck in just the right position. No maybe some other position. Maybe with the blanket between my ankles and lying on my side. Read a bit. Cat is meowing. Smear some voltaren on my neck and ankles. And wrists and fingers. And knees. Get up and use the bathroom and drink some water and have a plain tylenol. Attempt to placate cat. (Unsuccessful) Fall back asleep. Dream about pain and waking up and go through entire thrashing-around and trying to meditate cycle. Read on kindle, doze off, read, doze.

Wake up and fidget some more. Toe-wiggling and experimental ankle flexes. Feeling that I can't stand the pain in neck and shoulder. I get up and take half a tramadol and a skelaxin (for neck and left foot spasms) and have some decaf tea on the couch and read. Thinking back on times when i had trouble even holding a book. Will it be like that? Is this going to be a day in bed? Have I screwed myself up? Am I going to cry? Will zond7 be mad at me for fucking myself up? Will Moomin be disappointed and find me a very boring person? Why is my neck so stiff from the extremely gentle swimming around, or the plane? Is it part of ankylosing spondilitis? Did I get some sort of disease on vacation? Am I going to miss work? I finally fall asleep for real.

10am. Coffee. More of my book (Journalist and the Murderer, which is excellent.) Feeling cautiously human. I am up. Feel that I can't stand smell of the house. Wash dishes. Sit on couch & sort through unpacking bags. Deep breath! I should not have coffee, not good for me, but it is so nice.

Moomin tells me his opinion of the Three Musketeers (ridiculous thugs, why does everyone think it is so jolly that they go around killing people? everyone in book is an asshole. He keeps laughing in outrage. There is a graphic novel of the book where they don't sound like such jerks. Weird! I agree with him. We make fun of soldiers, chivalry, people with swords, and people who think it's a fun idea to burn down someone's inn just for kicks.)

Moomin has done the laundry. zond7 still asleep (evidence of him having his own late night insomnia is around). I am lying down to rest feeling sore all over but encouraged that I had enough energy to walk around the house and be productive.

Feeling mad urge to try to blog about our entire trip. Too many thoughts! It was all lovely!

But I steadily took painkillers to be able to be active, thus, my suffering now.

Stance has got to be: take the painkillers now, don't go off them, but don't be overactive, either. Activity like cooking or dishwashing or tidying or watering plants, sit on front and back porch, don't try to go out for several more days. Naps crucial.

Goals for this week: get through work days at least to 3pm, get to PT on Wednesday to swim, eat nicely but frugally (no take-out), keep house tidy, be well enough to go to the movies with the kids and zond7 next Saturday. Sub goal of taking very minimal drugs by end of week (ie half a tramadol zero, once, or twice a day).

Must remember to put cat-proofed water and plain tylenol and a tramadol by the bed tonight so I don't go through that horrible cycle of nightmare feeling pain.
Saturday, April 25th, 2015 11:56 pm
This poem came from the February 3, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] librarygeek. It also fills the "I'm thankful for you" square in my 1-31-15 card for the Valentine's Day Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Polychrome Heroics series.

Warning: This is really a romance, but it includes some serious (consensual) roughhousing in the gym. Consider your tastes and headspace before clicking through.

Read more... )
Saturday, April 25th, 2015 08:17 pm
This poem is spillover from the November 4, 2014 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] chanter_greenie. It also fills the "criminal intent" square of my 9-30-14 card for the [community profile] origfic_bingo fest. It has been sponsored by [personal profile] curiosity. This poem belongs to the Antimatter & Stalwart Stan thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

WARNING: This poem contains intense topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. There is a creepy telepath, really revolting use of superpowers, telepathic child molestation, telepathic violation of a nonconsenting adult, graphic violence, vigilante action by offended supervillains, mild cooperation between black and white capes, and between supervillains and police. If these are sensitive issues for you, consider your headspace before reading onward.

Read more... )
Saturday, April 25th, 2015 09:07 pm
Guess what was in a mysterious and unexpected box from [personal profile] yhlee today?

terrible cellphone picture )
Saturday, April 25th, 2015 02:47 pm
This poem is spillover from the March 3, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] stardreamer. It also fills the "no honor among thieves" square in my 7-30-14 card for the [community profile] genprompt_bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by [personal profile] curiosity. It belongs to the Antimatter & Stalwart Stan thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

WARNING: This poem contains some tense topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. There is incarceration, reference to lingering damage from previous injuries, explicit self-harm, blaming others, psychological manipulation with intent to harm, negative coping methods in general, and use of superpowers for petty mischief. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your headspace before reading onward.

Read more... )
Saturday, April 25th, 2015 08:30 am
The Toast's open thread yesterday had a great question: what's the silliest (small-scale) misconception that you held onto for a really long time?

Mine:

Ponies aren't baby horses.

(I don't remember when I learned this, but Chad told me it, and I think it was relatively recently, too.)

What about you?
Friday, April 24th, 2015 11:55 pm
This poem is spillover from the January 6, 2015 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from [personal profile] siliconshaman. It also fills the "accidental mating for life" square in my 7-31-14 card for the [community profile] hc_bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Calvin/Calliope thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

Warning: This poem features some touchy topics. Highlight to read further warnings, some of which are spoilers. There is canon-typical supervillain activity, a superpower mishap resulting in a mental link, nonconsensual drug use, a whole heap of boundary violations and other consent issues, really awkward interactions, a supervillain trying to do at least some of the right things and getting smacked down rather hard, and other angst. There are some hopeful notes, but folks are by no means out of the woods yet. If these are sensitive issues for you, consider your headspace before clicking through.

Read more... )
Friday, April 24th, 2015 11:38 pm
This one's up for auction at Con or Bust (I'm offering a custom-made one, too).

Click to enlarge:

red knotwork front full

The weird waviness is it being unduly flattened by the scanner, because I tried for way too long to get accurate colors with a camera and GIMP and could not.

Pattern by Teresa Wentzler (and a giant pain, it varies the height of the rows it puts in and so I had to take a ruler and pencil in lines so that I could have a proper 1 square = 1 stitch chart). Stitched over two on Antique White MCG evenweave; main stitching in silk, Caron Waterlillies, Cherry 101; satin stitch and Algerian eyelets in DMC pearl cotton size 12, Ecru (best way to do satin stitches EVER); backstitch in DMC 801 (done over one on the diagonals); shiny bits in Krenik #4 Braid Beige (013).

The colors don't quite glow the way I wanted when I saw the silk in the store, but I'm pretty happy with it all the same.
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